In an Instant


On December 7, 2019 I lost someone who was really special to me and so many others … my big sister, Pam. We lost Pam to cancer after ~3 year battle. For me it was a shock because she had been seemingly doing so well. When I drove up to Philadelphia to see Pam in the hospital on December the 4th, I wasn’t expecting it to be my last trip to Philly with her alive. I had packed a suit for the trip because I was going to a memorial service for a good friend, Blaine, that had recently passed away after a long battle with cancer. Pam passed on the same day of Blaine’s service. I know I don’t have to tell you but cancer sucks, it’s just a terrible disease. This isn’t our family’s first cancer related tragedy as we lost my Mom, Mema, at the young age of 59 in 1994 to this brutal disease.
I travel often for my job. And for me, flying through the beautiful skies gives me time to think and reflect. Given the recent loss of Pam, Lynn and the not so recent loss of Mema, it made me reflect on the influence that those 3 incredible women had on my life, why I cherish life so much, and how fragile it really is. And I can also say the recent and sudden tragedy involving Kobe Bryant, his daughter – Gianna, and the other 7 people on that fateful helicopter gave me reason to pause and reflect. Pam, Lynn, and Mema were very close so it’s extra special for me to be sharing the poem here. I wrote the it several weeks ago and I’m glad I didn’t share it broadly then as I think given the current situation in the world with the COVID-19 outbreak that it’s even more relevant now. And although, this poem is in honor of these beautiful women, its not just about them … its about all life’s beauty and all of the people in my life that I know and love …


In an Instant

If I died tomorrow … just know that I loved …

I loved waking up to that glorious sun
And laying my head down to rest when the day was done

I loved the music of the ocean not so far away
I loved our friendship, the laughs, the banter, the words of encouragement you would say

I loved the runs, the rides, the sweat
And the competition … and the thrill of winning the occasional bet

I loved when “they” said I couldn’t, how did they dare?
I loved that you were there, I loved that you care

I loved the work but more the play
I loved looking forward to another day

I loved our talks
And our leisurely walks

I loved the hugs, the kisses, and the feel of your skin
I loved the smells, the food, the wine … dining out and dining in

I loved the holidays, the planning and enjoying the amazing feast
I loved watching that crazy beast … running and jumping to say the least

I loved the jet engine’s thrust and exploring the sky
And all the beautiful places made in God’s eye

I loved my family, my friends … and oh my precious boys
If I died tomorrow … would you not take just a second … to stop amidst all the noise

If I died tomorrow … know I felt blessed …

If I died tomorrow just know that I loved … I loved so much


3 thoughts on “In an Instant

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